Sunday, 5 June 2011

starting to wonder...

        Asasalamualaikum waramatullahi warabakatuh...first of all, i need to thank my lecturer who is very good in teaching islamic worldview..i dont actually know where to gain answer for my problem but this is the time where i got answer from her..i always negative thinking,blaming here and there,taking things too seriously and i have forgotten who i really am....i think i dont actually think deep about my life..its not matter for what people think we are,but its matter what ALLAH think who we are..
i admit my relationship with ALLAH is not good and i always blame other for my own mistake..i`m too jealous(bad) for what people have....what people do..i`m too negative thinking until i got myself having OCD//obsessive repulsive disorder..

         i want perfectionist so much till i got myself ruin with other things..i dont really learn from my mistakes...learn doesnt means i look back my past but it is a matter of how i look my past..i dont learn the reason from my mistakes, my sickness,my stupidness, my disorder,my everything..honestly i dont really know who i am, which i only know my god through teory side..ALLAH, give me strength again to redeem my mistake and i really2 want to changed...i`m trying to be in state of single and trying to gain something that may be one day worth for me..insyallah....

No comments:

Post a Comment